42

Cousin: “Won’t you even consider it?”

Me: “Hmmm. No.”

Cousin: “If you were to move back, think how much closer you’d be to the family!”

Me: “Yes, I know and that is precisely why I’d like to remain where I am.”

Cousin: “Oh c’mon. You can’t be serious…”

Me: “Oh, no?” ((soft chuckle))

Cousin: “Really 42, don’t you think you’ve ‘found’ yourself by now? I mean, honestly, if you haven’t figured your life out yet you may as well come home and be with your family. A single girl at your age mustn’t want to be alone should she? Besides,not having a husband it must be awful to do things on your own and have no one to depend on.”

Me: “There is so much wrong with what you just said I don’t even know where to begin! Firstly who told you I was trying figure out who I am? I’ve knows for ages exactly who I am as opposed to the rest of you who remain clueless about what you want from life as is apparent by the way you all mope and complain about every bloody thing in your lives. The more you have, the more you have to complain about. Not to mention that none of you can think for yourselves for Christs’ sake. When was the last time you made a grown up decision all on your own without having to ask your husband for permission. PERMISSION for fuck sake! You’re telling ME to grow up?! It’ll be a cold in hell before I take any advice from you! And as far as being a spinster is concerned, you have apparently never considered that it is my choice not to marry. Do you think I want to end you like you and the others? Married to a prat in a suit who is fucking his secretary? Nooooo thank you. My love life is perfect as it is and I wouldn’t change one damn thing about it. You know what the worst part of this bloody conversation is? Having to justify anything to you. That’s it. I’m done.”

Cousin: “Well, could you be any ruder please?”

42: “Indeed I can. Piss off.”

~end trans~

Starting a new job is always riddled with anxiety and insecurity. You’re the new kid on the block, the one who does not know the inside jokes, which toilet to stay away from in the loo, which fella to steer clear of, which boss never and I mean NEVER to get in front of walking up the stairs in a short skirt….you know, all that sort of thing. Who knew that Kenneth, the man who called in to work on the copier equipment, suffered from Tourettes Syndrome and everyone had a good laugh as you tried to remain calm while he was bleeting like a spring lamb and shouting “PANTS!”. You bastards.

The very social aspect of the new job has been so enjoyable and I have to say, always having been a bit of a loner and liking my quiet, I’m having so much fun at all these work related parties and events it’s not really like work at all! Take yesterday for example; Now, I know traditional Tea is not not exactly everyone’s cuppa but considering the age group of the invitees it was perfect. It came off so well I’ve decided it will be repeated. I met such lovely ladies with the most amazing stories. Of course afterwards, those of us who planned this very sweet afternoon of cucumber sandwiches and other tasty bite sized treats ended up at the pub swilling beer and eating salted nuts, as you do.

The other thing about this job I like is getting invited to really cool events at the weekend. The Tattooed Man is not thrilled about wearing clothing without the knees torn out but he’s getting used to it. In fact, just last night he said he was actually looking forward to this weekends invite. He’s been such a good sport about all this. My life has moved 180 degrees in the opposite direction and he came along for the ride without so much as a moan. The man is perfect.

Sated and smiling, I’m off to work this morning to meet with the insurance company and see what all that is about. This just doesn’t feel like work at all and I feel as if I’ll wake up at any moment and realize it’s all a dream.

she being Brand

-new;and you
know consequently a
little stiff i was
careful of her and(having

thoroughly oiled the universal
joint tested my gas felt of
her radiator made sure her springs were O.

K.)i went right to it flooded-the-carburetor cranked her

up,slipped the
clutch(and then somehow got into reverse she
kicked what
the hell)next
minute i was back in neutral tried and

again slo-wly;bare,ly nudg.  ing(my
lev-er Right-
oh and her gears being in
A 1 shape passed
from low through
second-in-to-high like
greasedlightning)just as we turned the corner of Divinity

avenue i touched the accelerator and give

her the juice,good

                  (it

was the first ride and believe i we was
happy to see how nice she acted right up to
the last minute coming back down by the Public
Gardens i slammed on

the
internalexpanding

&

externalcontracting
brakes Bothatonce and

brought allofher tremB
-ling
to a:dead.

stand-
;Still)

It has to be said, there is nothing and I mean there really is nothing like a blow-your-socks- off-drench-your knickers-curl-your-toes-and-holler-so-loud-your-neighbors-think-someone-has broken-in-the-house-balls-to-the-wall-jaw-dropping-make-you-cry-and-laugh-                     at-the-same-time orgasm.

…then drifting off to sleep with a smile as wide as the sea all tangled up in the sheets with the fella you adore then slip quietly away while he sleeps gently breathing softy, eyelids fluttering and body never more relaxed than after lustful release to quickly blog about it because yes, my little loves, it really is that good with him.

Ain’t life grand!

Joe Calzaghi…

Hell yes baby, hell yes.