You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2007.
Due to the circumstances at hand, I spent Christmas alone. After the craziness of the last several months, I didn’t have the time to decorate for the holidays. No Christmas tree this year, no Christmas candles or cookie baking, no Christmas bits and bobs for me I’m afraid. I just didn’t have the time. Working 70 hours a week leaves one no time for anything.
My plan was to take a few days off and do nothing. When I say “nothing” I mean it. I slept late, stayed in my night shirt all day and watched tele. It was brilliant. That is, until mum called.
“What do you mean you’re not going anywhere, not doing anything?! You’re alone?! For Christmas!!?”
“Mum really, it’s okay. I’m absolutely exhausted after the rush of the last few months and just need the down time, you know? I planned it this way so I wouldn’t have to rush around and be somewhere I really didn’t want to be.”
“Oh dear, I can’t believe you’re ALL ALONE at Christmas. My poor little Dear!”
“Mum stop. I’m fine. I want to be alone. I’m too tired to socialise.”
…and so on. By the time I got off the phone I felt like shite.
Feeling dejected, no one pursued me after I refused their invitations for Christmas Tea, I sloped off to bed with a glass of wine and the cat. I was fine until mum called. She got me thinking about what I was missing. Turkey with all the trimmings, the house smelling of cinnamon and lovely brown gravy, my cousins and all their kids laughing and climbing all over me, mulled wine…ahhhh yes. The smells of Christmas.
No stocking with my name on it hung by the fireside for me this year but upon reflection, I did have a nice Christmas all on my own. It was nice not to have pine needles sticking to my feet or under my bum each time I sat down. It was nice to turn off the phone and just enjoy being quiet. It was fan-bloody-tastic to take a nap om the settee with the cat dozing on my belly, both of us breathing gently and not caring about the world outside the front door.
New Year Years eve approaches and I find that I’ll be alone for that too which for me, really is okay. Me and the cat will have a lovely time of it.
This is my last post for 2007. Happy New Year to one and all 
Roll on 2008!
The project was completed Friday.
This whole experience was what giving birth must be like.* It was fun at first then I felt as if I were always about to throw up with fear of the unknown. Near the end, it was emotional and unsettling with me feeling like I was a crazy woman and the only way my partners could cope with me was to give me tea and dry crackers. When the project was finally delivered and t of my possession it was a relief to be done with it. I collapsed in tears of joy.
I took my team out for dinner and drinks to celebrate the long 10 weeks we worked together, seemingly night and day, thusly having reduced our loved ones to mere acquaintance’s. We all vowed to reignite our romances and familial ties immediately and do all the fun things we put off these last weeks. We talked for what seemed like hours about who was going to Bora Bora for snorkeling or who was going to America to ride a mule down the Grand Canyon. I, of course, was heading straight for the Tattooed Man and his lovely little cottage over there on a hill now speckled with brown grass and even a bit of snow.
I thanked everyone involved in this project and as I was making my little speech, I broke down into tears. I suddenly realised how much they have all come to mean to me. Somewhere in the craziness that was this work, somehow they became family. When one of us fell, the rest of us reached out a hand to pull them up. It was the best and most well oiled team I’ve ever worked with and I’m going to miss them dearly. Even The Twat, I’ll miss him too because in the end, he was still a twat but we found a way to get around his twattishness. Don’t ask me, but it worked and I ended up liking him. He’s a terribly dry witted bloke who got under my skin and I’ve no idea how it happened. I despised him at first.
Soon after the all the drinks were drunk, Dark Haired Girl With The Beautiful Smile asked; “So, What’s next then?” Immediately everyone at the table started buzzing and chirping about what the possibilities were, checking calenders to see when the best time was start the next project, would we need to add to the team, and there I sat dumbfounded that these people were ready to get back in there and work some more.
Me? I’m taking a holiday!
*Please note that I’ve never given birth so this it total conjecture om my part. Apologies to the many brave but slightly crazy women who actually have actually given birth.
I love me Ricky Hatton!
I’ve been a boxing fan since I was a wee girl sitting in front of the tele with me dad. I never thought of boxing as any more brutal than rugby or American football or bloody NASCAR for Pete’s sake.
I finally got to see the Hatton VS Mayweather fight last night thanks to a friend with a web cam who so generously let me watch from her home country. Mayweather, in the end, proved to be too much for Ricky and I admit Ricky seemed to be a bit shocked at Mayweathers tenacity BUT…. what was with all the hugging and holding in the first three rounds and what the hell was that referee on about when he reprimanded Ricky for holding and let Mayweather slide? I’m sorry, that was just not a good call by the ref. Mayweather is a sneaky bastard and granted he may be the best pound for pound fighter out there AT THE MOMENT, mark my words, someone is gonna knock that smarmy loud mouth off his money throne. I don’t like the way Mayweather fights. It looked like a bloody wrestling match. Floyd would throw a punch and grab Hatton in a hold before he has a chance to return. What the hell is that?!?
At any rate, Ricky is still my favorite fighter and still the local nice guy he has always been. He apologized to his fans for losing the bout which was really not necessary(Hatton fans love him no matter what and will always do) but just goes to show that he is not so self centered that he forgot how many people flew over to see the fight in person. I really felt for him in that moment. Then camera pans over to his mom and sweetheart…about killed me.
Yea, I love me Ricky Hatton. Soon enough he’ll see the light and drop that gorgeous, sexy amazon he lives with and relaise I’m the woman of his dreams.
….and then I woke up and tripped over the dog.
Looking around the room I took in all the people in it. I remember eight weeks ago when I first stood in the room with these people. “Artists” I thought. A dog and pony show of ego and drama. “Diva extraordinaire” and “guy who wants to be Warhol”. That’s what I saw when I first sat down at that table with all these people who were recruited to work on this project with me.
Eight weeks later, I see people who have had such loss, such disappointment, such sadness yet somehow they live in pursuit of their dream. No matter what knocked them down, they pulled themselves up by the boot straps and got on with it. No matter how many times they have been rejected, dejected or tormented by their dream, they press on.
I am ashamed of having passed judgement on these people. I was prepared to defend myself in the usual way I always have done and even though this was “MY” project I was prepared to skulk away into the corner and let them take over. They have shown me kindness and support I was not prepared to receive. They made me cry with their warmth and genuine interest in me. Coming from a background where I am not used to kindness and support this was all rather a surprise for me. In fact, I was shocked.
These people, these amazing creative wonderfully beautiful lovely people…..what a surprise. Before the initial presentation, I stood outside the conference room just breathing and trying to focus on the presentation itself when suddenly, the girl with the lovely smile and dark hair was at my side asking me if I was alright.
“Sure I’m alright”
“You look a little nervous, sure you’re okay?”
Something in her voice made me cave.
“Well, I am a bit on the nervous side. I’ve never done this before and all of you have done this a thousand times. I feel hopelessly like a child on the first day of school.”
She took my hand, looked right in my eyes and said;
“Look, you’ve dared to imagine a different life for yourself and have taken a chance far outside of your own comfort zone by your own admission. I’ve watched you from the start of this project and am so proud of the work you have done. Even though you’re new at all this, you took on the responsibility and came through like a champion. You are just as much a professional as the rest of us and I am proud to be on your team. I’m proud of you.”
I’m proud of me too.
