You are currently browsing the monthly archive for April 2008.
It has to be said, there is nothing and I mean there really is nothing like a blow-your-socks- off-drench-your knickers-curl-your-toes-and-holler-so-loud-your-neighbors-think-someone-has broken-in-the-house-balls-to-the-wall-jaw-dropping-make-you-cry-and-laugh- at-the-same-time orgasm.
…then drifting off to sleep with a smile as wide as the sea all tangled up in the sheets with the fella you adore then slip quietly away while he sleeps gently breathing softy, eyelids fluttering and body never more relaxed than after lustful release to quickly blog about it because yes, my little loves, it really is that good with him.
Ain’t life grand!
Joe Calzaghi…
Hell yes baby, hell yes.
So where to begin?
42 has taken a new job that is very exciting and very, very satisfying. When I had “the talk” with big boss at the 7th Level of Hell and told him I was tendering my resignation, to say he was shocked is an understatement. He tried the old “Your contract states you have give me six weeks notice blahblahblah” and I responded with “Well, I thought since I just fannied about with TPS reports and missing cover sheets and since the company isn’t doing all that well anyway you really wouldn’t miss me at all, would you?” and then….I stole a line from Bridget Jones;
“If staying here means being within 10 feet of you at any given moment, I’d rather have a job wiping Sadam Husseins arse” which, of course, was not well played since Mr. H is dead.
Well then.
The new job is fabulous. I can wear what I like, no dressing up required and I love it! The hours are not very different than what I was used to and there is much more flexibility and freedom. For instance, if I want to saunter in at noon and work till 8 no one cares! As long as the work gets done, it makes no difference what time I get there. There are a few days each month when it’s important to be there on a schedule but for the most part I can bloody well fuck off and sleep in when I like. How cool is that?!
My new Boss is fabulous and very easy to get along with. He’s also gay which in the grande scheme of things I know really isn’t worth a mention however, he has already invited me out on a shopping trip to the town I most love to shop in. YAY GAY BOSS! Also, his being gay gives the Tattooed Man less to worry about, something to which I am grateful. He is quite a jealous bloke that man-o-mine.
I have been socialising like mad and have a packed schedule which may have the tendency to spill over into my own time but I love this job so much I really don’t care. I”ve been given a company car, (( and guess who pays for the petrol?? THEY DO!!)) a company credit card ((for all the meetings and lunches I’ll have to do )), and all the paid holiday time and premium heath care you can imagine.
Finally. A job I love and feel passionate about. I guess I can check some things of that To-Do list;
42’s To Do List
Burn Bridge Betwixt 7th Level of Hell and MyselfHave Massive Row With Love of My Life and Sulk for Weeks
Land Fabulous New and Exciting Job
Get a Pay Rise
Put All the Corporate Suits and Shoes to the Back of the WardrobeBuy More Denim and Fun Play Shoes
Buy More Handbags
Adopt a DogMake Up With Love of My Life
Get Some Sleep
Stop Bragging About Fabulous New CareerBe Happy
“I just don’t think I can do this anymore.”
“I know. Me too.”
“It’s not living together that is the problem for me.”
“I know it is and you know how I feel about that right now.”
“Yes, I know. I’ve tried to be patient and I really did think you’d come ’round on that but it seems it was a false hope.”
“Oh my love if you only really understood how much I have always wanted this to work. When I look at you, I can feel the longing in you…I can see the love you have for me. If only you…..”
“If only I what?”
“If only….”
“Go on then….”
“You hold back. If only you would just let yourself go and trust in what you’re feeling and damn the consequences. You know I live my life without worrying about others opinions of me or how I live my life but for you, it plays a major role in how you behave. That’s a huge issue for me. I have great difficulty accepting that what others think should be taken into consideration when I make decisions about how I live. It makes no sense to me.”
“You’re right. I do put too much stock in what others think and have made myself more than anxious trying to live they way my family thinks I should instead of the way I want. We’ve talked about this many times and I just can’t seem to put it aside.”
“We can’t even go on holiday without you being concerned that your dad is going to have something negative to say about it and then you spend the entire time complaining and being miserable. It’s not just holidays, it’s every tiny bloody thing.”
“This is your decision.”
“Yes I know and I take full responsibility for wanting to end this relationship”
::: pause :::
“I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry too.”
“I love you more than. ”
“I love you more than too.”
moving forth no looking back i am lost facing ahead
ahead…
secretly hurting
deep inside
youve let me down
“have the ships been long gone?”
just breathing ahead
have you let my hands go?
i cant feel your heart anymore
this world is too big without you
ill drown
my heart will succumb
stay for a while
i cant say goodbye
tears against the wind
tomorrows too blinding
all things sinking
slipping
dreaming
away from me
can you stay for a while
until i can say goodbye?
