Overheard during a meeting;

Short Woman: So, um, do you know about ((motions with her head in the direction of the two most recent victims of office gossip))

Tall woman: Oh yea, everybody knows!

Short Woman: Really? I only just found out today!

Tall Woman: Considering they have just officially announced they are getting married I’d say everbody knows as of today.

Short Woman: Oh. Yea. I guess it’s all fucky-fucky now innit?

Tall Woman: Don’t be so sure. I had him once. Mind you, I said once. That was more than “not enough” for me.

Short woman: eh?

Me: Snorfled my coffee from laughing so hard could hardly breathe

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While shopping at the market;

Young Girl #1: Oh, these tampons are really very good. I mean not that tampons are something one shouod consider as being good per se but these actully are. You know, good. Not the best but pretty ok.

Young Girl #2: Yea, they may not be the best but they’re up there.

::Dropped my bananas from laughing so hard::

~~~~~~~~~~~

Me: “So tomorrow I’ll have the proper USB and can hook up your new printer. Sorry about the delay. They sent over the wrong cable and it won’t fit in that port.”

Gay Boss: “I love it when you talk dirty.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Him: “So, my boyfriend wants to take me away this weekend for my birthday. Do you mind if I’m off…erm..sick Monday?”

Me: “Wait…you’re gay??”

Him: “Well DUH….”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Small Asian Woman: mummble mummble something Gucci mummble ack?

Me: Pardon?

Small Asian Woman: You wanna buy designer handbag? Good Price, look like real. You come, I show you.

Me: Oh! I see haha I thought you were selling drugs!

Small Asian Woman {{ Looks at me as if I’ve just killed a baby animal}}

Me: Oh, erm, sorry…not interested.

Small Asian Woman(in perfect English): Stupid tourists.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

While on a very long flight, the four year old behind me had a meltdown and proceeded to scream the following at his father who was, for all intents and purposes, totally clueless;

” YOU’RE part of the problem dad!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Overheard at the Organic Food Store;

“Is there any dairy in this cheese?”

~~~~~~~~~~~

John Cleese: “I love you, I must have you 42. Be mine forever and never leave me.”

Upon waking I thought…..John Cleese??

~~~~~~~~~~