you still can’t fix stupid

i am an idiot of the enth degree. what is wrong with me??

tigers and stripes

Sometimes you can change a tigers stripes. Most times, you can’t. 

After two weeks, I’ve had about all I want to take. The drinking is bad. When he’s sober he is one of the loveliest people I know. He is tender and mind and very much a gentleman. When he’s drinking he turns into a frat boy. 

I don’t drink much. A super cold beer every blue moon, a glass of wine that mostly goes unfinished at dinner. I don’t particularly care to be around drunk people. 

I feel guilty. He said the if he disturbs me he will find elsewhere to live. He said he’s not a charity case and doesn’t need anyone to take care of him. This really upset me and I feel terrible. It didn’t matter what I said, he seemed to be determined to make other arrangements despite me telling him I would help and support him and I want him to be happy because he deserves better than getting drunk every night. I also told him that in the end, it is his decision but he is welcome to stay if he is able to face his problems. 

I feel just awful because his soul is in so much trouble, because I know his potential, because he has a beautiful heart, because I care about him. 

I just don’t know what to do. 

you can’t fix stoopid

So he’s moving in with me. As a roommate NOTHING MORE. I state that so emphatically to convince myself really. He has changed, much softer now and not as demanding or radical as he was 20 years ago….but then age softens us all. 

This evening I am meeting him to take the dog with me while he loads up his truck. He’s moving into the spare room but I get to share the dog who I just love. 

I dunno…is this a mistake? Am I being stupid? I’ll revisit that in a month and let you know.